City residents demand horseback police to start pooping and scooping

Most people in Australia’s capital cities stop to admire the stately horses that patrol the CBD streets.

But while fines are executed for those that fail to pick up after their dogs, it’s perfectly acceptable for police to leave piles of horse shit around town.

Section 18C of the Horse Poo Collection Act is currently under threat, as public demands regarding the future of Police ‘pooping and scooping’ grow stronger.

RSPCA diet and methane specialist, Dr Vanessa Saha, claims the ‘vegan’ diet of horses means the stools contain no trace of harmful bacteria and decompose in a matter of days.

“From an animal rights perspective we must look at the natural liberation of gracefully dumping on a street corner,” Dr Saha said.

“On the environmental side, the poo will pretty much blow away as grass — there is no harm to the environment.”

Local financial adviser, Rick, 51, who commutes to work on his Cannondale bicycle every morning, believes the practice is irresponsible and ‘fucking disgusting’.

“Tell me it’s not harmful to my local environment when I come to work with horse shit smeared all over my bike tyres,” Rick said.

Oh, Shit | Images (left to right): Edward H Blake | Matti Mattila

Brunswick hipster, Jackson, 24, says he and both his Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are vegans.

He happily admits he doesn’t clean up after his dogs.

“There’s nothing more natural than our vegan way of life — I like to look at mocha and cocoa’s droppings as a small gift to planet earth,” Jackson said.

“At times they are a bit cheeky — I mean they spend most of the day lazing on the Italian leather lounge in my studio apartment.

“Whoops … did I say leather?”

Queensland right wing anti-vegan activist group, One Pasteurisation, are proposing the amendments to Section 18C of the Horse Poo Collection Act.

But while horses continue taking shits in the middle of Australian city streets, officers will remain chastised for their lack of action.

Featured image: Martin Deutsch



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