An underperforming Adelaide sales rep has been labelled by fellow staff the department’s ‘Mitch Marsh’ due to his relentless ability to keep his job, despite how absolutely garbage he is at it.
Craig (36) has done fuck all since he was hired in 2014 — the same year Mitch Marsh made his Test debut.
Fellow employee, Matt said while Craig’s resume states he possesses all-round abilities — he’s never really performed when it’s mattered.
“On paper, his numbers are horrible, and when there’s a little bit of pressure he’s known to drop the ball,” Matt said.
“But no matter how shit he is at his job — they [management] just won’t fire him.
“It’s like he’s one of the Marsh brothers.”
Craig’s father, Timothy worked at the same firm in the 1980s, and is known as a company legend famous for a determined and competitive spirit.
But Company CEO, Bruce has denied that family pressures are saving Craig from a certain axing.
“I’ll be the first to admit his form over the last couple of years has been below par,” he said.
“But we need balance in our team and on a good day, Craig has the ability to swing a client and score a few quick sales late in the day.
“This company lives by a ‘multiple chance’ policy, and we see a lot of potential in him as a future leader.”
Craig was approached for comment but was unavailable and on personal leave due to a slight back strain.
THE MANKAD 