Local Adelaide man, Pete (24) has recently come out blaming the coronavirus pandemic for his extensive dry run in bed.
As reported by some of his best mates, Pete messaged the boys’ group chat yesterday, claiming that this long weekend he’d be “totally on the circuit and pulling hard” if it wasn’t for this “lockdown bullshit”.
“Yeah I’ve been matching with plenty of chicks, sparking up messages — but nothing’s really escalated from there,” he said.
“I’d probs be getting it done if it wasn’t for this whole pandemic thing [hahaha].”
Pete hasn’t actually hooked up with anyone since New Year’s Eve.
He said that he’s been “just chilling and not trying too hard” because he knew the virus was going to ramp up.
“Nah to be honest I haven’t really been trying lately — I guess we can say this whole pandemic thing’s been ramping up for months, so I haven’t made an effort.”
Pete’s old school friend, Johnny, describes his mate as the “classic craftsman who blames his tools”.
“Don’t get me wrong — I love the bloke,” Johnny said.
“But yeah last footy season he was averaging 4 disposals a game — he reckons he had some undiagnosed shoulder pain that the physio couldn’t pick up.”
Update: Pete has since copped it in the group chat and quickly put back in his place.
THE MANKAD 