A house party held on Saturday night saw a group of lads chastise one of their mates for diving straight into the communal Vodka Cruisers.
Twenty-year-old Mitch’s eyes lit up when he saw the iced-up washing bucket stacked with the Smirnoff fruit juice.
“Shit yeah!” Mitch said on entering the party.
“Haven’t had one of these since Year 10.”
Mitch’s actions quickly caught the attention of the fellas.
“Whatcha got there Mitcho? Bitta lolly water mate? [laughs]” Jimmy, one of Mitch’s mates asked rhetorically.
“Oi fellas! Come look at this pussy!”
But, while initially copping it from his mates, it took just one round before Jimmy and almost every other bloke at the party were caught with Cruiser in hand.
“Saturday is for the boys … and for Cruisers!” Jimmy was heard yelling.
Meanwhile, party host, Sarah, 19 — who had been busy attaching her fake lashes — soon discovered her decision to provide equal amounts of communal cruisers as beers was a total miscalculation.
“I saw Kristy sipping on a Carlton Draught with a straw and was like what the ef is actually going on here?” she said.
“The Cruisers were gone in the first hour — the boys were double-parking and everything. I can’t even.”
Sarah was forced to get Dad to go and fetch another carton of Cruisers, exclusively for the girls.
Dad, who had been interrupted from enjoying a quiet stubby watching the footy on the couch, as a result informed Sarah this would be her last house party.
THE MANKAD 