Middle-aged bloke flamboyantly orders ‘expresso’ martinis for him and the missus after dinner

On finishing his pre-purchased Groupon anniversary dinner’s main course, Brett, 42, believed it was time to impress the bartender.


“Can I get two expresso martinis?” Brett asked. 

“Two… what?” the bartender replied.


According to the bartender, Brett proceeded to hand over a $20 note, asked if that would ‘cut the mustard’, before wandering off and claiming he had to go to the ‘pisser’.

“I told him the total for two espresso martinis was going to be $42,” the bartender said.

“He [Brett] looked at me and told me they better be ‘made of fucking diamond’.”

On receiving the cocktails, Brett’s wife, Susan, claimed she couldn’t taste any Kahlua and that the cocktail was too bitter.

“Well you know, we make the best expressos [sic] at home so we’re going to be harsh critics [laughter],” Brett’s missus said.

While the bartender attempted to explain that traditional espresso martinis consist of practically coffee and vodka, Brett saw it as an opportune moment to start complaining about his steak, which he had finished eating over 30 minutes ago.

“I ordered it rare, it came out medium rare at best,” Brett said.

The bar manager, John, 35, says he struggles to understand why people complain about their meals and demand refunds after completely devouring their food.

“We get customers like Brett come in on a daily basis — they down their food and complain after eating 3/4 of the dish that something wasn’t right,” John said.

“He used a Groupon voucher for fucks sake.”

A study from the ABL (Australian Bureau of Liquor), found people over 40 are much more likely to mistakenly ask for an “expresso” martini than those in the lower age bracket.

Featured Image: Phil Guest










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