An Adelaide woman has questioned her boyfriend following a controversial Saturday night out, which he originally claimed was going to be a ‘quiet one’.
Alisha, 23, says her boyfriend Sam, 24, crawled into bed at 7am, still absolutely pissed and reeking of cigarettes.
“He’d promised that he was going to do some study and have a quiet one at his mate’s,” Alisha said.
“By simply looking at the inside of his wrist, it’s obvious he got pretty paro last night.”
As soon as Alisha aggressively asked “um … what are these honey?”, pointing at his entry stamps, Sam knew he’d fucked up.
“I was going to have just a cutla … but carn … we all know what that expression means,” Sam said.
“Of course, explaining this to the missus was no easy feat.”
Sam apparently knew he was meant to join his girlfriend for brunch at her parents’ place in the morning.
Alisha was furious when it came 11am and Sam was still passed out in the middle of the bed.
“Seriously, what a joke,” she said.
“I thought I was in a nightmare.”
In the early hours of the morning, Sam initially tossed up catching an Uber straight to his missus’s folks’ house from Hindley Street.
But as he took his second chunder of the evening, he managed to talk himself out of the decision.
“I swear the sun was coming up — the fellas kept urging me to pull an all-nighter,” Sam said.
“But I knew it would look heaps sus rocking up with stains on my shirt and piss all over my shoes.”
While Sam ended up making it home, Alisha eventually stormed out of the house on her own just before midday.
When Sam woke three hours later — simultaneously scratching his jocks and opening the fridge — he noticed a sticky note reading, ‘pack your bags’.