A Lord of the Rings enthusiast, who is clinically obsessed with the series and struggles to separate the fictional world of Middle-Earth to everyday life, is adamant football superstar Leo Messi is a Hobbit.
Jasper, 34, who lives in a fortress made of pillows in his parents’ living room which he calls ‘Gondor’, believes Gandalf sent Messi accompanied by the ‘One Ring’ in the late 1980s to Rosario, Argentina.
“There’s no other way to explain his sheer goal-scoring power and control he has over opposition defenders — Messi is a Hobbit bearing the One Ring,” Jasper said in a painful voice.
“One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.”
Jasper believes Messi’s idiopathic short stature and his history of growing issues was a result of the Ring’s power stunting the ageing process.
“The Ring is known to prolong the bearer’s life,” he slurred.
“But he must be careful the ring doesn’t corrupth his thoul [sic]!”
He says a move away from FC Barcelona to a European rival such as Manchester United will confirm the ring has finally corrupted the Argentine star.
Messi denies the claims he was sent from Middle-Earth.
“I no heard of this allegation [sic],” Messi said.
“Who is Mr Gandalf?”
FC Barcelona defender, Gerard Pique, who is a fan of the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, admits Messi’s feet are “hairy like Hobbit”.
“Sometime, Leo like to walk street with no shoe [sic],” Pique said.
While local Spanish authorities have begun the search for the One Ring, Messi will undergo DNA tests to diagnose the prevalence of Hobbit heritage.
Featured Image (edited): New Line Cinema | worldfootball.net