Man ditches mates, treks Rundle Mall alone to chase Tinder match

After a solo stroll while staring at his iPhone’s homescreen, local adolescent, Johnny, 20, found himself alone searching for his Tinder match at Fat Controller Nightclub in Adelaide CBD’s north west.

While he managed to deter the long line by sneaking through the smoking area, Johnny, who was now three $11 Coopers Lager jugs deep, did not prepare for the sweat that was to seep from his 100% cotton Ralph Lauren shirt.

“Fuck it was hot in there,” Johnny, who had quickly made his way to the mens to check his hair, said.

“Shoulda [sic] gone the linen shirt — horrible choice of kit.”

While his mates decided to call it a night at The Austral Hotel hours earlier, Johnny had matched with a girl he briefly met at uni and was adamant on sealing the deal.

“Mate I tell ya [sic], he never takes no for an answer,” Simon, Johnny’s best mate said.

“But when it’s only Thursday and your mates call it a night — you’ve gotta [sic] ask yourself — is it really worth it?”

Johnny said it took him 30 minutes to find Lucy, his Tinder match, only to find her hooking up with another dude.

“I messaged her clearly explaining what I was wearing — a Ralph polo, cuffed beige chinos and boat shoes,” Johnny said.

Lucy claims she walked past 12 guys wearing that exact kit and that she wasn’t even that keen on Johnny.

“I barely know the guy — I can’t believe he walked all the way down Rundle on his own just for me,” Lucy said.

“It’s kinda cute, but mainly sad.”

Approximately 60 men each week unsuccessfully carry out the ‘Rundle Trundle’ in aims to secure a female counterpart, recent reports suggest.


Rundle Trundle
Proper Noun

DEFINITION
A solo walk taken after dogging mates from the mellow bars and pubs along Rundle Street, down the Mall, and into the buzzing nightlife of Hindley Street in order to find a female companion for the night (often pre-organised through dating apps such as Tinder).


Local psychologist, Dr Timothy Cullinan, says there are a number of symptoms which can help people identify potential victims.

“The men are always alone and usually staring at a blank phone screen, or messages from girls dating months back,” Dr Cullinan said.

“They may or may not be holding a stubby, spitting frequently and obnoxiously, and/or zigzagging across the Mall.”

If you or someone you know are affected by these incidents, visit stoptherundletrundle.org for more information.


Featured Images: Treffster|Lookcatalog


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