After being dubbed Australia’s slowest-scoring batsman, Foreign Minister Julie Bishop, has selected Matt Renshaw to negotiate what she labels North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un’s ‘mediocre medium-pace bombs’.
Minister Bishop believes the North Korean Test is just a stepping stone in establishing Matt Renshaw at the heart of Australia’s defence force.
“In my humble opinion, I believe Matt is perfect for the job — a young man with an impeccable forward defence and nothing to lose,” Bishop said.
“The way he’s negotiated Pakistani and Indian attacks proves he’s capable of handling anything North Korea send down.”
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull believes there won’t be much rough to work with during the First Test and that it’s unlikely Jong-Un will beat Renshaw through the air.
“At best he’ll rip them [missiles] from just outside Fiji in the Pacific Ocean, back into Brisbane,” Turnbull said.
Renshaw says he was delighted on hearing the news.
“It’s every young lad’s dream to represent their country,” Renshaw said.
“From dodging and pulling Dad’s apples in the backyard — I can proudly say my skills have matured.”
The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has issued a statement endorsing Renshaw:
He showed extreme courage when he soiled his pants and kept batting during the First Test in Pune — a mark of a true-blue Australian soldier.
Australian captain Steve Smith, also supports Renshaw’s recent appointment.
“If he can deal with Starcy’s missiles day in, day out, then I can’t see why he couldn’t dispatch Kim Jong-Un’s tweakers to all parts,” Smith said.