A local missus has had a worrying night after her husband said he would “take care of tonight’s tea”.
Alarm bells started ringing for Katy, 35, when she noticed a thick cloud of black smoke emerging from the barbecue.
Her husband, Stuart, 38, was sitting on the couch — feet up, beer in hand — watching the footy.
“All I could hear was bloody BT’s voice echoing through the house,” Katy said.
“Meanwhile our verandah began to be consumed by smoke.”
Stuart says Katy loves to over-exaggerate how domestically unqualified he is and that he had it under control.
“I went and had a geeze and it was all gravy — I didn’t know what the old girl was on about,” he said.
“I chucked a bit of VB over the snags, gave them a roll — Bob’s your uncle.”
Stuart argues going from the barbecue to the TV is one of life’s more inconvenient and tiring activities, especially at 7:30 pm when Friday Night Footy is in full swing.
“If I could have one superpower, it would be the ability to enjoy a VB in front of the tele while at the same time being able to flip the snags … with a VB,” Stuart said.
“That’s the dream.”
His missus claims this superpower is in fact “multitasking” — an attribute which does not come easily to most men.
“We all know what men are like when it comes to multitasking,” Katy said.
“Either watch your footy or properly cook the barbie cause you can’t do both!”
Despite smoking the shit out of the local neighbourhood, Stuart and Katy’s family enjoyed a meal of VB charcoal glazed meat, Wonder White and a strong lack of anything green.